Over thirteen years ago I walked down a long aisle...shaking. I was sure everyone could see my flowers jolting as I attempted to stop my hands from moving. I was sure everyone could read the confusion on my face as questions kept racing through my head. "Should I really be doing this?" "Am I really ready for such a commitment?" "Is it obvious that I have no idea what I'm doing?" "Is it obvious that I am terrified?" And then suddenly...peace. I saw your face. My favorite face God has ever made. I love your face. And at that moment...the moment I saw your face...I was calmed by your smile and the light in your eyes. And I knew that I had made the right decision.
I know that during the past thirteen years my actions and my words have not always proven to you that I meant the vows I made to you. I'm sorry for that. I would love to promise you right now that I will never hurt you again. But I can't make that promise. I am too flawed...too imperfect. But what I can promise you is that I will continue to grow. I will continue to seek out influences that make me a better wife. I will fall down. But I promise to pick myself up, dust myself off and hit it again.
I have come to realize that without you, I would not be me. I can see that we are truly two halves that have come together to make a whole. Without each other, we would not be the same people. And I like who I've become and who I'm becoming because of you. I like that it is obvious to us that God made us for each other. I like that we fit perfectly together.
The face that calmed my heart on that important day thirteen years ago, is the same face that has calmed my heart time and time again. You are who I need in the great times of life, and you are who I need when the pain of my soul reaches another depth I didn't know was there. You are my light. You are the tangible face of my Jesus...and he is more beautiful than I ever imagined.
Matt Morgado...I do commit to this marriage until death because you are worth it. And because I am worth it. You know I have struggled with issues of faith over the last two years. I have struggled with what I really believe. And I have come to the conclusion that I do believe in love. And I believe love is work. And I believe love is hard. And I believe Love never fails. Ever.
You've set the bar high, my love. You don't quit. You take risks. You give and you give and you give. You make me want to be better. And I promise to follow your lead.
I love you.